‘Reflections’ Archive

New relationships are like starting a garden: they take time and care 26 July 2016 Comments Off on New relationships are like starting a garden: they take time and care

If we’ve been on our own for a while, we can start to get nervous that we’re never going to meet the ‘right’ woman, and even begin to give up hope. Which of course will affect how we relate to any women that we do meet, and reduce our chances even further. But unless we’re […]

A WOMAN-UAL: 12 tips for looking after the ‘womanimal’ in your life. 8 March 2016 Comments Off on A WOMAN-UAL: 12 tips for looking after the ‘womanimal’ in your life.

Womanimals! You’re not sure if you always like them, but you know that you need one. You have many similarities, but there ar also some important differences between you and them, so here are some tips on making your womanimal happy. Btw remember that growing up in a patriarchy will have often been a pain […]

Savile: a more balanced explanation? 26 February 2015 Comments Off on Savile: a more balanced explanation?

He’s all over the news yet again, so I was relieved to come across the below piece by a psychologist writing in the Guardian, because it takes the wise and insightful perspective of acknowledging that he was a deeply damaged individual who was not ‘responsible’ for who he was, and so in some respects (I […]

More on ‘Love’. 27 March 2014 Comments Off on More on ‘Love’.

Here are some things that I finally learned love is not: * Needing a partner’s approval and/or admiration to be able to feel ’OK’ about myself (and consequently, getting angry or depressed if for some reason that seems to be missing) *Holding back from letting her really know ‘the real me’ because I’m afraid that […]

Thoughts on Love Comments Off on Thoughts on Love

Because I suspect it’s a term that is often used in all kinds of situations without the speaker or the receiver being sure exactly what is meant by it,  (and sometimes used, sadly, to manipulate or capture another person by feeding their ‘need to be loved’) I’ve been reflecting on what I mean when I […]

What do women want from men? (One woman’s perspective) 10 March 2014 Comments Off on What do women want from men? (One woman’s perspective)

Recently received these helpful words from a woman friend, in answer to my ageold question:” What DOES a woman want from a man?”.  Seems simple enough! “Well I reckon these two things encompass and sum up everything (and maybe we all take time to get to a certain point in our emotional development before we […]

Men and isolation: a woman’s perspective 6 March 2014 Comments Off on Men and isolation: a woman’s perspective

I received this insightful and interesting letter from a woman friend. It reminded me of some wise words from my favourite ‘relationship guru’ David Richo who believes that for a healthy balance, an intimate relationship shouldn’t account for more that around 30% of the human contact needs of either partner. We men are often not […]

Common relationship types 3 March 2014 Comments Off on Common relationship types

I found this interesting…especially how many men fit the ‘Dismssive Avoidant’  relationship model. Something to do with how we were raised?  I still aspire to having a ‘secure’ relationship in spite of it all!  Can you recognise yourself? “Relationships are extremely important in the mental growth of a person. A healthy relationship helps to cope […]

Sex Statistics: we’re not doing it as much (or as well) as we think we are! 22 February 2014 Comments Off on Sex Statistics: we’re not doing it as much (or as well) as we think we are!

Some amazing stats on British sexual behaviour just released. See report below. Find myself wondering if the universally easy access to porn is turning us into a nation of w*nkers. It’s depressing that in an era of supposed openness about sex,  so many (men espcially) are apparently still unwilling to get help in this area […]

“How Men Think”. Funny, or dumb? 21 February 2014 Comments Off on “How Men Think”. Funny, or dumb?

Was it coincidence that I was just forwarded some more tired man jokes. I’m not quite sure which gender comes off worse here, but either way I’d feel impelled to say: “if your relationship communication is anything like this…get away, far away, and pronto!” ) How men think  Men are not mind readers  Learn to […]

 
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