New relationships are like starting a garden: they take time and care 26 July 2016

If we’ve been on our own for a while, we can start to get nervous that we’re never going to meet the ‘right’ woman, and even begin to give up hope. Which of course will affect how we relate to any women that we do meet, and reduce our chances even further.

But unless we’re living like a hermit, we are bound to be meeting women everyday of our lives, and it’s a big mistake to believe that, if we’re not immediately ‘attracted’, or vice versa, this means they, or we, are not ‘attractive’… or there isn’t, and can never be, enough ‘chemistry’ to make a relationship work. The reality is that when we are powerfully attracted to a woman it can be for all kind of complex and buried psychological reasons which have  more to do with our own unresolved issues than with her suitability for us as a partner.

In fact, if we do meet a woman who  seems irresistibly attractive, and vice versa,  the most sensible thing would probably be to run a mile. A relationship based on an instant attraction is more likely to lead to a confusing entanglement than to a healthy life enhancing connection. ‘Real’ attraction is a mysterious thing which takes time to grow, and is rooted in getting to know and appreciate the other person at a deeper level, rather than in how they look.

And anyway, if we depend on being ‘attractive’ to a woman to feel good about ourselves, it leaves us vulnerable to being manipulated by anyone who is willing to flatter us.

Two mutually ‘attractive’ people can have great sex (and there’s nothing wrong with that, as long as they both know it may be time limited) and can reassure each other for a while that they have ‘a relationship’, but the crunch of whether there is any real foundation to it will come… sooner or later.

‘Romance’ is fun, as long as it’s enjoyed for what it is – possibly a delightful step to something deeper, but possibly not. This is the best way to avoid the hurt and disappointment that comes when people who have not been honest with each other, realise that they don’t like each other very much.

Meanwhile, keep your eves open…and be patient.The woman who would make a wonderful partner for you may be right in front of you; you just haven’t noticed her…yet!рекламное агентство москвыникасагрегат сварочный передвижной аддкупить консилер

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